We all know that who you choose to speak at your wedding matters. So you;re always careful of what they might or might not say. Check out these things you definitely don’t want to hear during a wedding toast.
Remember: This is a toast, not a roast! If you’re handed a microphone at a wedding, your number one priority is to let the newlyweds know how happy you are for them. Avoid an awkward moment by avoiding these topics at all costs:
1 . Funny thing is, I actually dated the bride/groom first.
2 . You know, the third time they broke up, I never ever thought they’d get back together. Like, ever.
3 . I am just so drunk right now! Is anyone else really drunk right now?
4 . Kiss your freedom goodbye!
5 . Welp, no one ever thought this day would come.
6 . Her college boyfriend was cuter.
7 . We’ll see how long this lasts.
8 . To be honest, everyone thought I would get married first.
9 . John’s an investment banker, so I guess we all know why we’re gathered here today. *cue “Gold Digger” by Kanye West*
10 . Can someone grab me another gin and tonic?
11 . You could’ve at least invited some hot girls here tonight.
12 . I mean, in my opinion, the whole idea of marriage seems pretty outdated really.
13 . I’m betting she’s pregnant by the end of the year.
14 . At my wedding. . .
15 . But really, where’s that gin and tonic?
16 . I think we all know what’s going to go down on their honeymoon . . .
17 . I don’t get it! I mean, he didn’t even pick you the last time we played “Would You Rather?”
18 . Well, I guess I owe you 50 bucks now.
19 . Did you know that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?
20 . Let me sing you an original song I’ve been working on . . .