If you and a childhood BFF grew up together planning your dream weddings to dream husbands, then you likely wanted to be in each other’s bridal parties and get married at the same time. However, now that you’re both all grown up, being a bride with an engaged bridesmaid can come with its fair share of ups and downs.
On the upside, brides-to-be tend to talk about weddings frequently. While some friends may be all ears, the reality is that some people are just being polite. But when your bridesmaid is also getting married, she’ll actually want to talk flowers, catering, drapery, seating charts and so on.
Bride-to-be Audrey Keller works in the industry as a wedding publicist at OFD Consulting and can find plenty of people willing to chat about the wedding day. Still, she was very happy when her very own bridesmaid became engaged.
“It’s been nice to have someone to bounce off ideas who’s in that same mindset as you,” says Keller. “Comparing floor plans, thinking about timeline flow are all things we talk about on a daily basis, and she doesn’t get tired of it because she’s doing the same stuff!”
“There is certainly a camaraderie that comes with sharing the experience together,” says Paula Ramirez, Owner of Historic Mankin Mansion. “As well as the process goes, there is still some stress associated with planning, and it’s nice for two friends to be each other’s support when others may not understand. Not to mention, you can always bond during site visits and vendor research—not only does it save you time but also you’ll be able to trust your friend’s recommendations more than a stranger’s online.”
While being there for one another is a definite plus, being engaged at the same time can mean sharing the spotlight. This may come in the way of conflicting dates, social circle overlap and, generally-speaking, not giving each other the chance to shine.
“If both ladies are getting married in the same region and share the same social circle, there’s always the concern about double booking a date or scheduling things like bachelorette parties too close together,” says Ramirez. “This only means that they’ll need to take the added step to communicate dates with one another before setting anything in stone.”
The Dos and Don’ts
To make the most of the bestie-bonding situation, do:
To avoid letting your wedding cause friendship tension, don’t: